Sales and Sales Management Blog

Negotiation: What’s More Valuable; Aptitude?  Or is it Attitude?
By Scott Roberts, J.D.

Among the tactics, one upsmanship, bullying and bravado, how do really great negotiated agreements get made?  Do we have to be smart or do we have to have the right attitude?  In negotiations, as with the rest of life, our attitude and feelings attract exactly what they convey.  So if you go into a negotiation with the attitude that you will negotiate solely on price, you will naturally drive it there.  By preparing and going in with the right attitude you will most likely negotiate better for yourself and the other party.

Many times we do all of the right things to prepare for our negotiations.  We gather all of the right information, prepare options and develop strategies to negotiate well.  As the day comes for the meeting what happens?  Why are we reluctant to pursue our interests and create value for ourselves as well as the other side?  Why are we reluctant to stand firm on proposals and terms that are fair to us?  There are a number of reasons.

The first is obvious, we are not prepared.  Research shows that almost 80% of all negotiations occur with little or no preparation.  We do not know all of the parties’ interests, and that includes ours.  In essence we do not have enough information to create value or substantiate the value we believe we deserve.

The second is we set our goals too low. The research shows that those that set a stretch goal rather than just their bottom line routinely negotiate more value for both parties.  There are three main reasons we set our goals too low. 

The first reason is that lower goals protect our self esteem.  We set goals that we know we can make and that allows us to feel good about ourselves.  Forget the possibility that we could have achieved more value so long as we hit the value we said.  That is a win isn’t it, or is it?  If we routinely leave value on the table as the research demonstrates who are we really helping? 

The second reason is not enough information and we have discussed this one above.

The third is plain lack of desire.  We take the path of least resistance.  If you are afraid to introduce tension into your negotiating relationships then you capitulate to others’ needs and wants.  In the end, when you lack the desire to create additional value beyond the obvious it hurts both parties, you and them. 

So how do we avoid this spiral?

The first is to always, always prepare for each negotiation.  Information and preparation are key.  Understanding another party’s interests and yours allows you find out what you really have to agree on.  Having this information on the table allows you to seek creative solutions to address both parties’ interests.  That means getting below the initial positions to understand the underlying value they need fulfilled to achieve everyone’s goals.  I find that asking why something is important to someone gets below the surface and helps understand what they really need.  For instance, when some asks for my best price I routinely ask why.  Here we really need to understand what is driving their request. Do they really want cheap?  Or is it they want to make more money or conserve costs?  Or is it they do not want to be taken advantage of?  When I know this information then I can respond appropriately.  Otherwise I will have to engage in a negotiation based on no value and therefore we do the proverbial haggle.

Second is setting high expectations for your negotiation outcome.  Too often I see negotiators spend countless hours preparing their bottom line and their concession strategy.  Rather, I set high expectations as well as a bottom line.  By high expectation I mean an offer that realistically optimistic.  An offer that is realistic but a stretch that I can support with reasonable criteria.  By having a high expectation and bottom line you are more likely to achieve an agreement that hits that high expectation.  It helps you increase your desire to negotiate an outcome that is good for both parties.   Also, research shows that those that set a high expectation routinely achieve value that is higher than those negotiators that don’t.  By preparing and having high expectations you will be more confident, in other words have the right attitude, in reaching a goal that is good for both parties.  And likely your self esteem becomes rapped up in achieving the high expectation rather than just preserving your ego.

It is critical to have the right attitude when negotiating.  By applying these steps to your negotiation you will be well on your way towards having the right attitude and creating a better outcome for both parties.

Scott Roberts extensive experience with negotiation has evolved over more than twenty years in positions from sales to merger and acquisition attorney.  In addition to negotiation, Mr. Roberts has trained in the topics of strategy planning, leadership development, marketing, and sales strategy.  As an advisor to many boards of directors on both legal and business matters, he is interested in enhancing negotiation, long and short term strategic planning, organizational development and results achievement through collaborative sales, marketing and customer services.  Scott is a consultant for Accordence, a company providing negotiation consulting, training, and mediation to corporations across the globe.